Fickle

I'm sorry Blogger.  I really did like you or I wouldn't have broken up with Wordpress last year.  It's not that you don't have redeeming qualities. You do!  It's obvious by how many people love you.  I just can't stop thinking about Wordpress.  I guess we never get over our first love.  And, I can't resist any longer (especially when I saw the iPad interface).

It's not you, it's me.  I hope we can still be friends.  You can find me here if you ever want to hang out.  Everyone is invited.  I've been told I throw great parties.  There's always wine.  And, sometimes whining. 

Here's a sneak peek:

www.pausingtoreflect.com

Resolutions

It's that time of year -- we shake off the old and get ready for a new year.  We discuss our new year's resolutions  -- how we aspire to change or make ourselves better.  All of the athletic equipment goes on sale and health clubs have "no joining fees".  Gym rats complain because come Monday, their "spot" will be taken by a newbie.  We resolve to get organized. 

Last year, a friend of mine said that New Year's Resolutions are a great way to say that you aren't good enough.  I decided to ditch the word "resolution" and call it a "commitment".  I decided I would run a race every month in 2011.  I did great until I hurt my foot in July  -- again -- and just got frustrated.  And down on myself.  And feeling that I wasn't good enough.

So, I'm here to call BS on resolutions and commitments and anything else that says "I'm not good enough".  Instead of making commitments to lose weight, work out and get organized, etc....I think we should all look at the ways that we shine -- and just resolve to do that more.  Don't get me wrong...I think it's fine to want to lose weight, get organized, better yourself.  But, don't try to change who you are in pursuit of those things.  I have come to believe that until we are totally comfortable with who we are -- our authentic self -- then it's nearly impossible to change the things that we want to change.

I have been asking myself some questions lately.  What do people like about me?  What do I get compliments on?  What do love doing?

People often comment on my smile.  I'm going to smile more.

People comment on my laugh.  I'm going to laugh more.

People feel welcome in my home.  And, I love having people in my home.  I'm going to have more parties.

I love to sing.  I'm going to sing more.  Not necessarily to perform.  Just around the house, in my car, wherever I am.

I love to take pictures.  My wonderful husband bought me my second Canon Rebel (because I *gasp* lost mine).  I'm going to take more pictures.  I might even take a class (well, I will take a class because I promised I would).

I love to write.  Maybe I'll write more.  Maybe I'll write about more things.  I don't know and I've learned my lesson about making promises to update my blog on a regular basis.

I love to read.  I had forgotten that I love to read, but I do.  I might read more.

I love traveling and seeing new things.  I plan to continue to explore our new surroundings and spending quality time with my family.

I love to be spontaneous.  To just wake up in the morning and say, "hey, let's go do this...".  I love to be able to just invite people over at the last minute.  I want to do that more.

That's a start.  I'm under no pressure to be something I'm not.  I'm just setting the bar higher on the things I love to do anyway.  Call it being more intentional.  If it has to be a resolution, it's this simple:  I'm going to be the best me I can be. 

Happy New Year. 

Hope

This morning, there is a family grieving the loss of their infant baby girl.  Anna Joy was born with a major heart defect.  Just like our son (although not the same defect).  She immediately had to endure a surgery that could potentially save her life -- until the next surgery. Just like our son.  As I have read their blog over the past couple of weeks, I have been overwhelmed by the memories.  I know what it's like to see your baby hooked up to every contraption imagineable.  I know what it's like to watch helplessly as they are wheeled away to surgery.  I know what it's like to be in the hospital during the holidays.  I know what it's like to watch the doctors scratch their heads and declare that there is little more they can do for your baby.  I know what it's like to cry out to God, "Please don't make me bury an infant".  What I don't know is what it's like to come home from the hospital without my baby.  It's times like this that I am overwhelmed with "survivor's guilt".  I've experienced it other times as well as dear friends of mine have lost their children...and each time I wonder why.  Why was their child taken and not mine?  I remember finding very little comfort in well-meaning Christians telling me that God's ways are perfect.  In fact, it makes me mad.  "NO!", I want to scream.  This is not perfect.  Death is not perfect.  The God I believe in is grieving along with me. This was not how it was meant to be.  Creation, as God intended, has been broken. 

I'm not saying that God's ways are not perfect.  As Christians, we believe that He works out all things for good (Romans 8:28).  But, sometimes we cannot see the good, especially when we are in the midst of heartbreak.  I once heard an analogy about a quilt.  We see our lives as the front of the quilt, with just the patterns showing.  But if we look under the backing, we would see all of the threads and knots that were needed to make the finished product.  Still, not much consolation to a grieving parent. 

And, then I remember Christmas.  The day that we celebrate the birth of God's son, who was to be the Savior of the world.  Jesus was sent to right the wrongs and restore all things to perfection - to the way God intended them to be.  To abolish death (2 Timothy 1:10) To give us eternal life so that we would never again have to grieve death (John 3:16).

Does any of this make it easier to grieve the death of a child?  Absolutely not.  But, it gives us hope.  A reminder that there is light in darkness (John 1:15).

Please lift this family up in thought and prayer.  Because as a friend put it, in comparison to this, we don't actually have any problems.  Light a candle tonight and say to the darkness, "we beg to differ" (Mary Jo Leddy).

And then listen to this song, written by a friend of ours, about the love, peace and joy that Jesus brings.

Wish you a merry Christmas - Aaron Spiro

Ronderful Rismastime!

Driving in the car this weekend, we were listening to the local 24 hour Christmas station.  "Blue Christmas" came on and my son asked us to turn the channel.  Upon being questioned as to why in the world he didn't like Elvis, he replied:  "Because he sounds like a mixture of Paul McCartney and Scooby Doo".

Maybe it was funnier in person, but that is Life According to Jake.

December 16

This day has been significant throughout my life for a couple of reasons.  First, it is the day my sister was born. She was my first sibling and I was 9 years old, so it was something I remember very clearly and was a special and exciting day.  My life would never be the same (in a good way, of course).  Happy Birthday, Sis. 

Eleven years later, this date brought another life changing event.  I had been doing a work study job at The Daily Evergreen.  I answered phones, took classified ads and did various odd jobs around the main office.  I got to know several people at the newspaper and even had gone to high school with one of them, so I was friendly with several of the staff members.  But there was this one really cute guy that would walk by, and as big as I smiled at him, he never once paid attention to me.  I also was an avid reader of the opinion column.  A couple of people contributed to it that I really enjoyed reading.  There was one person in particular that I found myself agreeing with all the time and thinking, "I really wish I knew this person".  Then one day, the cute guy came to check out a camera from the front desk.  The office manager was talking to him and as he walked away, she said, "Thanks, Lloyd".  My head snapped around.  That was him.  The guy that I had so enjoyed reading in the newspaper was the same cute guy that I watched walk by my desk every day. 

After that, I started really going out of my way to get his attention.  Looking back, it was a little stalker-ish.  The newspaper recieved a great many promotional CD's for review and we had an auction one day.  I didn't care a bit about the auction, but decided to start bidding on all of the CD's that he was bidding on.  There was one in particular, Lloyd Cole that he kept bidding on.  We were the only two bidding and eventually I ended up winning the CD.  My plan was to strike up a conversation with him about it.  That never really panned out.  Ironically enough, the title of that CD is "Don't Get Weird on me Babe" (which by the way, is a brilliant album that was probably a few years ahead of its time).

After that didn't work, I just got bold.  I figured out which bus he took and I would sit next to him (he never noticed). Instead of just smiling at him when he walked by, I just said a very enthusiast "hi!".  I'm sure he thought I was crazy.  Finally, we started to have short conversations.  One day, I woke up and got really cute for class.  My roommate asked me why and I told her that this was the day Lloyd was going to ask me out.  She looked at me with a little bit of skeptisim (okay, a lot...) and said, "Oh, the guy who doesn't really know who you are?"  Yeah.  That's him.  "Okay", she said....."well, you look cute".

When I got to work, he came by to check his mailbox.  I noticed that he had taken a couple of basketball tickets out of his box.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  "HI!!!!"
Him: "uh, hi...."
Me:  "What are you doing tonight"?
Him:  "uh....I'm going to a basketball game and then I have band practice"
Me:  "Oh that is SO COOL.  I haven't been to a basketball game yet this year!!!!!!!!"
Him:  Looking at the tickets...."uh....do you want to come?"
Me:  "Well, let me call my roommate -- we had plans tonight but I'm sure she won't mind..."

Remember how I said he probably thought I was crazy?  Well, he may have been on to something.

So, we went to the game.  Afterward, we went to the Combine for coffee (which he made me pay for myself).  We talked about things that never should have been talked about on a first "date" (religion, politics, etc).  And, then I took him to band practice and went home.  On the surface, it was largely uneventful.  But, when I walked in the door, I told my roommate that I'd found the man I was going to marry.  She asked me to please let my boyfriend know because he wouldn't stop calling every 10 minutes. Oh yeah....I had forgotten about him.  I had also forgotten to call my sister on her birthday. 

It was another few months before we actually officially started dating.   But, I always knew he was the one.  Twenty years later, I still know it.  He's my best friend, my partner, my soul mate.

Oh, and we still have that Lloyd Cole CD.

Conspire with me

Let me start out by saying that I am a gift giver.  I love giving presents that bring people joy.  It's my "love language" as they say.  But, every year about this time, I start to go on a rant about consumerism.  This year is  a little bit different though.

I used to be 100% opposed to Black Friday.  I despised all that it stood for and wondered at the irony of how quickly we shift from being thankful to being, well...greedy.  I've been doing more thinking about it recently and while I haven't necessarily changed my position, my outlook has shifted.  I still don't like it.  Especially when I hear stories of people using pepper spray to ensure that they get the product they want.  Or grandfathers being slammed to the ground by police, traumatizing grandchildren.  In fact, the violence this year is reported as being the worst ever.  You begin to wonder if the gifts that people are fighting over will even be remembered by this time next year.  Chances are, they won't.

On the other hand, it is prudent to steward your money wisely.  If you can save 50% on something that you are going to buy anyway, why not take advantage of the sales?  My laptop computer died on the Monday before Thanksgiving.  I need a new one because I use my computer to work from home.  We were able to get a deal and spent 1/3 of what our alloted budget was for it.  We happened to do it online, but if we wanted to stand in line for it, that would be our business.

I also support spending money locally.  I love the idea of Small Business Saturday.  When I lived in Olympia, I used to go to Duck the Malls every year.  I found wonderful gifts which supported local artisans.  (It's coming up next weekend, so if you are in the area, check it out!)

Another thing I have started to consider is the tradition that some people enjoy.  My sister-in-law goes out with her sisters every year.  They love it.  They get to spend time together and enjoy eachothers company while saving money on gifts they will likely buy anyway.

My issue with Black Friday and Cyber Monday and the all of the consumerism that surrounds the holidays really boils down to a heart issue.  If you are buying things and spending money on a gift just because it's on sale, it doesn't make sense to me.  I promise you that people who love you would much rather have your time.  A couple of years ago, I gave my step-mom a hand made gift certificate for a date to afternoon tea at the Phoenician Resort in Phoenix, where she lives. Yes, in the end, I still spent money -- and I knew that it would be months before we would actually do it (it was May by the time I got to Phoenix).  But, that afternoon we spent together will forever be in our memories -- a bigger treasure than any material thing I could have purchased for that same price.
And, then there is the reality that despite our current economic situation, we are still the richest country in the world.  In the midst of cries of "we are the 99%", we still have managed to spend around $54 billion between Black Friday and Cyber Monday. 

To the rest of the world, we are the 1%.

These folks say it better than I ever could.  I've been trying to live by the Advent Conspiracy values for many years now.  I still give gifts.  I just approach it differently now. 

Eternally grateful

I did it again.  I quit.  Didn't follow through on my attitude of gratitude series.  I've thought about it every day and have indeed given thanks.  But, posting it here started to feel rote.  Trite.  Strained.  Not authentic (What is the opposite of authentic?  Oh yeah...fake).  I felt pressure to come up with something really profound (albeit the pressure was self-inflicted).  The truth is that there are days when I don't really feel very grateful for anything in particular.  And, yet, I am grateful for all that I have -- and I don't ever want that to come across as fake.  I'm grateful for the people in my life.  The roof over my head.  Our jobs.  The big and seemingly small ways that God provides for our family (although, they are never really small are they?).  The list goes on and on. 

Three years ago -- not to the exact date, but it was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving -- I got a call that changed everything.  Literally, in an instant, my whole world changed.  Forever.  It was the day that Madelyne came into our lives.  Born to drug addicted parents, she needed a home.  We didn't know if it would be for a little while or forever.  Turns out, it was for a little while, but she changed us forever.  I don't know if I can adequately put it into words.  The six months that she was with us were hard.  Anyone who's had a baby knows that it's hard, even under the most ideal circumstances.  Sleep deprivation makes you loopy.  Add to it the emotional roller coaster of dealing with social services and homestudies and bi-weekly visitations and it was a very stressful time in our lives.  But, it was also a very sweet time in our lives.  We were able to love this little girl -- and our friends and family loved her as well.  And, at that time, it's really all she needed.  She needed to feel loved and comforted and safe.  Deep in my heart, I know that it shaped who she is and will become.  I am eternally grateful for that, despite the crushing heartbreak I sometimes still feel that she is no longer with us.

It was easy to love Madelyne.  But, I was challenged - stretched - to love people that I didn't want to love.  To feel compassion for people that I didn't want to feel compassion for.  To be gracious, when I did not want to be gracious.  To forgive when I did not want to forgive.  And, in the midst of it all, to be a good example to my son, who was watching and learning. 

Today, my emotions are mixed.  I miss her.  I miss her a lot.  But, I am eternally grateful that I got to be her mom -- even if only for a little while.

Attitude of Gratitude - Day 15

A few days ago, on Veteran's Day, I pulled out a picture of my grandfather.  It was taken when he was just 18 or 19 years old.  I've always loved it.  He was always so special to me.  He's been gone 19 years and I still miss him every day.

Over the years, people have always said how much Jake looks like Lloyd.  And, he certainly does.  But, there are traits that I've often wondered where they came from.  His lips and mouth, for one.  And his eyelids are not like either one of ours either.  Then, the other day, when I was looking at the picture of my grandfather, it hit me..Jake looks like him in many ways

William "Franklin" Wallace

William "Jacob" Brown

Not the best picture of Jake, but I was trying to get one where he's not smiling huge, like he usually does.  And you can't see how blue Jake's eyes are in this picture. I don't look anything like my grandfather.  Maybe it's cheesy, but I'm thankful that Jake has Wallace traits.  

Attitude of Gratitude - Day 14

As someone who had battled SAD for many years, today is easy. And a picture is worth 1000 words. But I'll say it anyway. 71 degrees on November 14th. Perfection.

Attitude of Gratitude - Days 9-13

I have missed a few days of posting, but not from being grateful.  I made special note each day of what I wanted to make sure I expressed gratitude for:

Day 9:  The plans I originally had for Wednesday night fell through and Lloyd was out of town.  So, I took the opportunity to invite a friend over for dinner.  Her son is a friend of Jake's.  She and I met a few months ago during the 5th grade field trip and instantly connected.  We had a nice evening just chatting and enjoying one another's company.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to be spontaneous and make new friends. 

Day 10 - I spent a lot of time (years, really) being anxious about middle school.  I don't know what I was worried about because Jake is absolutely thriving.  Conferences were on Thursday and while I am very grateful for his report card and that he got on the honor roll.  He's obviously not perfect though and he has some areas that definitely need work.  But boiled down to one sentence, the feedback I received was that:  He's a confident, self-advocate who is hard-working, respectful and enthusiastic.  I couldn't really ask for more.  Many will say that it's a reflection of good parenting.  But, the truth is that we couldn't do it alone.  We really believe it takes a village and we are grateful for the friends, family, teachers and other influential adults that have taken an interest in Jake over the years.  I think you know who you are, so thank you for making a difference in his life.  And ours.

Day 11 - Friday was a near perfect day.  Lloyd has traveled a lot this year.  In fact, I figured it out and he's been gone about 20% of the time this year.  He came back from his last scheduled business trip of the year on Thursday night and Friday was a holiday.  We were able to have a restful day, with no real obligations. The icing on the cake was having his cousins over for dinner, one of whom he hadn't seen in 30 years.  We are so grateful to have been able to connect with long lost family members over the last couple of years.  They have added richness to our lives.

Day 12 - We are grateful for the new friends we've made here in DC.  We had some friends over for dinner on Saturday night.  It's amazing to think that we didn't even know these people a year ago and yet now, we cannot imagine them not being part of our lives.

Day 13 - We all woke up feeling under the weather on Sunday.  Even though I spent a good part of the day sleeping -- and I was not able to do the things I wanted to do, I am grateful that overall, we are all healthy.  There was a time when I wasn't sure if that would ever be our reality -- but it is and I couldn't be more thankful.

Attitude of Gratitude - Day 8

Jake takes piano lessons at the Levine School of Music which has classrooms at the Music Center at Strathmore.  It is a beautiful facility that attracts wonderful acts and upscale audiences.  Normally, Jake's lesson is at 4pm on Mondays but this week, we had to rearrange the schedule, so his lesson was tonight at 7:30.  My plan was to drop him off and sit in the car and do some work in the car while I waited.

Turns out there was an event at the Music Center.  The normal drop off area was blocked off for valet parking.  They let me drop off there, but I couldn't wait like I normally do.  I  had to circle around until I could find a parking spot.  This meant I had to walk and go into the Center with all of the people who were dressed to the nines to see a classical pianist.

Not the best day for me to wear yoga pants and slippers to piano lessons.  

Today, I'm thankful that I have a sense of humor.

Attitude of Gratitude -- Day 7

We have always tried to make a point of eating dinner together as a family as much as possible.  Our schedules are busy and Lloyd has traveled a lot -- particularly this year.  The other night, Lloyd was gone and Jake and I sat down to eat.  Jake asked me how my day was and wondered if there were any stories that I wanted to tell about work.  It made me realize that this family time together really does make a difference and he has learned to approach meal time with the attitude that it is a fellowship time, rather than just a time to eat.

Tonight, he had a lot to say.  Anyone who knows Jake isn't surprised by this -- he always has a lot to say.  But, he was sharing things about his day that were important.  We got to talk about life lessons that he was learning through some things that were going on at school.  And, he isn't completely self focused.  He always asks how our days were and wants to know what we did.  He even seems interested in our answers -- at least for now.

Someday soon -- a lot sooner than I like to think about -- it will only be Lloyd and I at the dinner table.  I cherish our family meal time and am very grateful for it.

Attitude of Gratitude - Day 6

I'm grumpy today. I hate falling back to standard time.

So, in light of that (pun intended), today I'm grateful for Daylight Savings Time.

Is it March yet?

Attitude of Gratitude-Day 5

Lately, I've been missing my friends in Washington State a lot. More than usual, I mean. I can't put my finger on why. Perhaps it's the time of year. Olympia was a great place to live and a great place to raise a family. We had wonderful friends and had traditions that we looked forward to every year. We loved the culture and the overall "feel" of the Northwest (although it's no secret that I was not a fan of the seemingly constant rain). I hesitate even putting it out there though because I don't want it to seem like we don't like it here. We do. But, it's different. The pace of life is faster. The people are different. The culture is all its own--as it should be! We didn't move to Olympia and instantly have a community. In fact, I moved to Olympia and grieved the life we left behind in Phoenix. It took time to build a network of trusted friends.

So today, I'm thankful for the life we lead in Olympia. The people and the community impacted us in a profound way. It has shaped the way that we pursue new relationships and traditions. And it has given us wonderful memories and a place that we can always call home.

Attitude of Gratitude - Day 4

Jake.

He makes me laugh every day with his incredible sense of humor.  He once told me that he wants to be Jim Carrey when he grows up.  He loves slapstick, physical humor but he can also be wickedly ironic and his sense of comedic timing is amazing. 

He also has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  He cares about people and their feelings.  He can't imagine why anyone would choose not to be nice.  He chooses to see the good in everyone, as best he can. 

He marches to the beat of his own drum.  Best of all, he's okay with that.  I will never forget the day he told me that he WANTS to be different -- that he's THAT kind of person.  

There are so many things that I am grateful for.  But, most of all, I'm grateful that he's happy...and that he isn't afraid to dance and sing and jump for joy.

Attitude of Gratitude

I am generally what you would call a "glass half empty" kind of person.  Recently, a friend quipped that it's not half empty -- it's just the wrong size glass.  And after some reflection, I think that actually nails it.  I think my glass is probably too big.  I expect too much from people.  Well...that's isn't exactly it either.  I WANT to expect more from people -- all the while knowing that the bar is too high (and yes, I realize it raises the bar for myself exponentially).  And so, it sets up a cycle of expectations and disappointments until I finally just start bracing myself to be disappointed in hopes that I will be surprised.  And, for the record, I often am.

These past couple of days, I have been noticing a lot of "I'm grateful for..." posts on my facebook feed.  And, as much as it pains me to say...I think it's a great idea.  You see, I'm not one to follow the crowd.  In fact, I tend to do the exact opposite of what the trend is.  While it would be easy (and perhaps entertaining) for me to post my pet peeve(s) of the day, I will spare you. 

My goal for this little project is to end the month with a clear picture that my glass is not half-empty.  And, it's not the wrong size.  It's actually a very large glass that overflows.

Since it's November 3rd, I'll start out with three

• I'm grateful for my niece Madison, who celebrated her 11th birthday yesterday.  She is a beautiful young lady, whom I have loved watching grow up.  I miss her and her family a lot.
• I'm grateful for my friend Darcy (for many reasons).  Today, it's because she gave birth to her son Cameron on this day, 11 years ago.  He has been a loyal friend to Jake and I love they have the kind of friendship that transcends the miles between them.  I miss him and his family a lot as well.
• Had I started this project on Nov 1st, this would have been my first post:  I'm grateful for my husband and that he loves me despite my short-comings.  I never dreamed I could have the kind of love we share.  In fact, I didn't even know it existed.

Keep posting those grateful-isms.  I love seeing the simple ways in which our glasses are filled. 

Awestruck

There are certain things I will never get tired of, living in the Nation's Capital.  Coming out of the Smithsonian metro station and turning around to see the Washington Monument is one.  Visiting the Lincoln Memorial will never get old.  And, I will always get teary when I see the World War II Memorial. 

But days like today make me feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

This morning, the President will be speaking about his jobs plan.  Right across the street from my office building.  We recieved an email yesterday saying that there would be traffic delays and the street would be closed to pedestrian traffic for a time.  I made an effort to get to the office a little earlier than normal and took a few minutes to survey the scene.  Dump trucks are strategically parked on the Georgetown Waterfront, facing the river.  A giant American flag is hung behind the podium.  Key Bridge provides a beautiful backdrop on a stunning fall morning.  The President's Own Marine Band is rehearsing.  The Secret Service is giving me the stink eye as I stand there with my mouth gaping open, taking a few pictures. 

It's moments like this that I try to take in and savor. These are experiences that very few people have.  It's not lost on me.  People around me are complaining about the President ruining their lunch plans.  But, I happen to think that it's pretty stinking cool that he'll be less than a block from my office entrance.

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world hungry and blind

I can't believe I live in a country that still allows capital punishment.

I can't believe I live in a country that carries out the death penalty on a person who very likely could be innocent.  I am against the death penalty in all cases, but Troy Davis' case has just left me dumbfounded and heartbroken.  I blogged recently about Casey Anthony and how our justice system isn't perfect and we don't always get it right.  I wondered then where the angry mobs of people were when an innocent person is prosecuted.  When an innocent person is put to death.  That is likely what happened last night in Georgia.  It crushes me to think about it. 

It's not that I don't think people should be held accountable for their actions.  I do.  But, I don't believe that the State should play God.  And, please don't point me to Leviticus 24:20 unless you are willing to follow the other 600 or so laws in the Old Testament.  And, don't tell me that his lawyers failed him because I believe that there were factors other than incompetant lawyers at play here (not the least of which is racism).  And, don't try to sell me on the fact that there is always collateral damage in war.  I've heard all of the arguments and there is no way I'll ever be convinced that capital punishment is okay. Especially in this case.

There was doubt in this case.  We are not 100% sure than he committed the crime.  Yes, I know he was convicted, but sometimes we get it wrong.  The jury members have admitted that if they knew then what they know now, they would not have voted to convict him.  And now he is dead.  And Mark MacPhail is still dead.  And, I don't believe there has been any justice in his murder.  And, it proves to me once again that the State cannot be trusted with capital punishment. 

It is worth noting that another man was executed last night in Texas.  The crime was heinous and there is no doubt that Lawrence Russell Brewer played a role in the hate crime again James Byrd, Jr.  And yet, the victim's own son objected, saying "you can't fight murder with murder".  Amen.

I believe in a just God and I know that He will deal with Troy Davis and Lawrence Russell Brewer accordingly.  It's my only comfort today.

I'm so busy!

It's been a long time since I've posted anything.  I've been writing, but nothing is ready to be posted yet.  There's a lot on my mind -- from my visit with my 91 year old grandmother in August, to a new baby in the family to embracing my new role of being the mother of a middle schooler.  It's all swirling in my mind right now.  "I'm so busy", I tell myself.  And, I hear it all the time from other people. 

Here's the truth:  We aren't THAT busy.  We are just busy with the things that we make a priority.  Yes, there are times when we are double booked or have a lot on our plate.  But, let's be real...most of it is stuff that we choose to put on our plate.  And, we make the time for the things that are at the top of our priority list.  How often do our plans change because something comes up that is higher on our priority list?  I tell Jake all the time that he has to prioritize.  Is piano a priority?  Then don't waste your time on video games (I'm sure he'll need therapy for all the times I have told him what an amazing pianist he would be if he spent 1/2 the time practicing that he does playing Xbox). And, he reminds me that sometimes we just need a break from all of our commitments and resting *is* the priority.  After all, God did it (Gen 2:2).  He sanctified it and made it holy (Gen 2:3)  And he commanded it (Deut 5:12).  Now, I don't want to make this a debate about what day the Sabbath is supposed to on be or how we are to observe it -- I use those verses merely to point out that rest is part of who we are as God created us.
 
Lloyd and I try really hard not to be "too busy" to just be in the moment.  We love to have a house full of people and now that we have a house that will fit more than 3 people in it, we long to just be able to spontaneously invite somebody over instead of planning it 3 weeks out.  Some of the best parties I've ever had are those that just "happened".  It's not that I think planning is bad...but when somebody invites me over for dinner and I tell them I'm busy until November, I think it speaks volumes about how important they are in my life.

When we lived in Olympia, we built a deck on the front of our house so that we could intentionally hang out in our neighborhood, engaging people as they passed by.  I remember one day last summer, I'd had a stressful day and just wanted to hang out with people.  I posted on Twitter and Facebook that I'd be out on the deck with margaritas and whoever wanted to drop by was welcome.  We had people on our deck late into the night -- talking, laughing & forging new friendships.

I've said before that I believe people have a desire to be known.  I also believe that we were created to be in community with one another.  God gave Adam a companion because it "is not good that the man should be alone" (Gen 2:18).  Our triune God did this (this was not an accident or an after-thought).  We are social beings -- we were not created to live behind a privacy fence and not engage in the world around us.  And the only way to get to know people in an intimate way -- a way that is condusive to long lasting relationships is to not be "too busy" to invite them over for dinner in the first place.  Invite somebody.  Get to know them.  Invest in them.  Make them a priority.  Your life will be richer because of it.

Life According to Jake

Every day, my son has something witty, wise or downright hilarious to say.  Instead of blowing up my Facebook feed with it, I though I'd just create a spot here.  Here is this morning's gem:

I have to preface it with telling you that recently, he has gotten very into "pop" music (much to the dismay of his parents...especially his dad).  This morning, he made the observation that much of the pop music he hears is just the same chorus over and over and over.  And ----

I like P!nk a lot better than Katy Perry because it seems like her songs actually say something important instead of just partying and falling in love.

And that, my friends, is Life According to Jake.